MIND GAMES

MIND GAMES
© 2008 J Picken
Our minds are delicate things. Balance and clarity are not always predominant rulers. In fact, our minds are apt at playing games, games which convince us that we are totally alone, that futility is a foregone conclusion ,that people do not care, that we are a burden. These are then compounded by the overwhelming feeling of complete helplessness and the total depletion of our indomitable fighting spirit. Yes, the mind convinces us that we should give up because no one will care nor notice if we just disappear.

The mind is so very convincing in this quest to manipulate and break our tenuous grasp on the essence that keeps us all plodding on regardless…hope.
We do not always seek help, the mind plays it’s role so very well and dissuades us from seeking assistance, in fact the mind promotes isolation because then it can then win at it’s own game.

 

 

There is no purpose for attempting to do anything, much less, activities that are enjoyable, the mind ensures we have nothing to enjoy. Bottom line is ,it really does not want anything to intrude on it’s chances of winning this game of it’s own creation…this game has a name…the name is Depression.

The World Health Organisation defines clinical depression as:

• Two weeks of an abnormal depressed mood
• loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable
• Reduced energy, or feeling tired

• Loss of confidence and self-esteem
• Feeling guilty and unworthy
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, or any suicidal/self-harming behaviour
• Reduced ability to think or concentrate
• Agitated or slow movements
• Disturbed sleep (not enough/too much/poor quality)
• Change in appetite (increase or decrease) with weight change
• Decreased libido
• Unexplained physical symptoms

Minor depression includes 2 of the first three
symptoms and at least 2 others.
Moderate depression includes 2 of the first three
symptoms and at least 4 others.
Severe depression includes all 3 of the first three
symptoms and at least 5 others.

Furthermore, depression exhibits the following symptoms:

• lowered mood - feeling sad or unhappy most of the day, and nearly every day.
• generalised negativity and pessimism, so that everything seems black or pointless.
• loss of interest or pleasure in your normal activities, or being unable to enjoy things as before
• tiredness, chronic fatigue (often not relieved by sleep).
• loss of interest in social contact, such as avoiding friends and phone calls.
• being less talkative than usual.
• reduced concentration, memory or ability to think clearly.
• reduced productivity or ability to cope.
• tearfulness or crying.
• impaired sleep, appetite or sex drive.
• reduced self confidence, feelings of worthlessness.
• anxiety and irritability.
• thoughts of life being pointless, especially when losing hope of recovering.

Beating the mind at it’s own game needs to become the ultimate goal. Of course, the first step is to acknowledge that the game is in progress…saying “Yes I have a problem with Depression” is difficult. The mind really does not want it’s games exposed for all the world to see.

How do we win this game? We develop better coping strategies, we learn new ways of handling things that cause us stress and worry, we recognise the signs and signals that the mind games are beginning. Most of all we need to seek help. In other words, we fortify our defences and out number the enemy in a show of force.

 

 

This is a link for those who may wish to learn
more about depression, the types of depression,
the signs and symptoms and what
can be done to keep well.
Access Here

For those of us who are sufferers, I provide the following link hoping to a site which contains a free cognitive behaviour therapy program for sufferers of depression which can be completed online.
Access Here

SPIN

Spin
©2008 J Picken

The world is a mess. We as a race have failed. We have failed to respect, cherish, value and love not only each other, but the world we live in. Politics, media and money rule our world, no lets say dominate, because we are dominated. Millions of people world wide die, several thousand per minute, yes per minute. The simple and sad fact is we as a collective really don’t care about how the rest of the world exists.

We don’t care that people cannot access health care, let alone adequate health care. We don’t care that people are starving. Yes starving, and yes we are in the 21st century not the 12th century. Poverty should not exist; neither should death through starvation or preventable illness.
We go to war at the drop of a hat, life has no value, death prowls the innocent. We condone racism, we segregate for nominal factors, we hate too easily for trivial reasons.

Everyone seems hell bent on waiting for 2012 and the supposed great ascension to
solve not only their own issues, but to cure the diseased world we live in, the world we
have created. That’s typical of human nature, wait for everything to fall into our laps. Overall we really don’t like working for anything let alone for ourselves. What everyone seems to overlook is the fact that change, any type of change begins with you. Ascension will not help you if you don’t begin by eliciting the change you wish to see within yourself first.

If enough people in our miserable world changed perceptive, changed attitudes and changed judgments we would have the impetuous to alter the direction we are heading. As it is we are on a path of self destruction, no aliens are coming to rescue us, there’s no superman waiting in the wings nor batman to fight for us. Who would want to when we are on this path of annihilation? Any half smart alien race would wipe us off and start again.

So will we stay in the spin we’re in? Live in our comfy little houses, watch our TV’s, believe everything we’re told, ignore what we don’t wish to hear? I guess so…nobody cares in this day and age…

Where Are The Critical Thinkers ?

Where Are The Critical Thinkers ?

© 2008 J Picken

Today’s society seems full of people living in a self imposed box. There tends to be a lack of ability to think outside the square or apply a varying range of views to individual concepts. Firstly, let us define critical thinking.

“Critical thinking consists of mental processes of discernment, analysis and evaluation. It includes possible processes of reflecting upon a tangible or intangible item in order to form a solid judgment that reconciles scientific evidence with common sense.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking
Somewhere along the track, we as a collective have lost the common sense component, sure we compile the scientific evidence, in fact we tend to rely too heavily on the proven instead of looking beyond that for answers. Science does not have answers for every aspect of our universe, let alone our existence on Earth. Science cannot cure many health afflictions despite the many decades of their continuation.
So that now brings us to discernment. Our judgement has been harshly affected by the society we live in, the influences we are subjected to, either knowingly or unknowingly. We are influenced by the climate of politics and media, often finding our own opinions are based on less then objective materials to begin with. Therefore, how are we able to provide clear and unbiased discernment without the distortion of the most basic information we require. Are we truly able to view anything objectively and make a sound judgement to contribute to the critical thinking process?
Analysis or correlating. If we cannot secure unbiased information to explore, our completed analysis will be misleading. Analysis needs to be based on solid facts, whether scientific in nature or not. Discernment actually encroaches into the department of analysis, after all both have similarities throughout their process and isn’t analysis a type of discernment?
Evaluation should be drawn from our discernment and analysis. It should weigh the pros and cons. It should form an answer for what we seek. The answers should lie within the finalisation of an evaluation and should therefore provide the final direction and final step of the critical thinking process.
Everyone’s heard of the saying “look outside the square”, well this describes the complete critical thinking practice because by completing each step, we are indeed on a grand search to find answers from every quarter. We should not dismiss any answers forthcoming from such a process, but carefully study the likelihood and success of application. Since we have already established that not all answers will be tangible, especially in the eyes of science, it would be folly to overlook all possibilities.
There is a distinct lack of ability to fully apply the critical thinking process and to be honest; this is reflective of our thinking abilities being suppressed by extrinsic factors, of which we remain totally naive. We are much too used to being told how to think, sadly most of the time we do not even recognise this fact. Our society is slowly becoming sheep like in nature perhaps that is the grand plan ~ mass creation of stupidity.
Break free of the box you live in.
Where are the critical thinkers?

Gotta Love Karma...

Gotta love spirituality, gotta love those that spew forth all the love and light bigamy. That's not without saying that there are those in the minority who are genuine, but hell they are few and far between. You know, sometimes the biggest hypocrites are those that preach too much, those that have way too much to say full stop. Amazing how spirituality is used as a justification or excuse, and here's me believing spirituality to be a foundation of belief, a guide for ethical and moral behaviour and an opportunity to the best person I can be. 

Karma

I guess hypocrites abound in every walk of life, we meet them in the streets, in our jobs even in our family. The daunting thing about using something like spirituality as a shield for such behaviour is the fact that:

1. People have the expectation that "spiritual minded" people walk the talk. Live by their own decrees, not do as I say not as I do.
2. The potential for abuse and manipulation of not just one person but of groups and communities is infinite. Well I would think we've all heard of cults and the horror stories.
3. Spirituality should be a place of peace, a place where you can be in touch with your creator, your inner self,your God. You should be free with your own beliefs and apply the spiritual knowledge to the ethics and morals of everyday living.

So you maybe wondering what my issue is well its like this...
My good friend had a beautiful site, one she and I had worked very hard on, spent long hours posting and editing,promoting and gaining members. Had being the operative word. You see it only takes one rogue member, one vindictive spiritualist ( I say that tongue in cheek because quite obviously the person in question wasn't) to cause total devastation. Yes we had the harassing and threatening email saga, my friend was even subjected to stalking. As if that wasn't enough well our vindictive spiritualist actually procured information to delete my friends site. Oh and as if that wasn't enough, lets just cause more havoc by hacking into other accounts and other sites. What a gem of a spiritualist..unconditional love at the maximum.

 

Karma-1

So now I comfort my friend, try to help her pick up the pieces, try to instil the incentive to begin again...

Bottom line is TRUST NO ONE ...divulge nothing...be suspicious of those whose actions belie their words especially those who use spirituality as a justification.
Yeah...and I hope the culprit reads this and yeah I know about those hate sites...little wonder...guess you aren't so well liked huh?? Well you know what they say...what comes round goes round, I'd hate to have YOUR karma debt.

 

Karma2

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Now Control Of The Internet...Where Will It Lead?

© 2008 J Picken
On the rare occasion I actually got an opportunity to browse the many Ning groups I belong to,one site in particular had posted an article and video that is of great concern to all that read this. All ISP’s plan to change the service they offer in the year 2012 turning the internet into a “pay tv” subscription based service. Each site you visit will incur a charge payable to the ISP provider. Some bundled site packages will be available, but those that are not included in the bundle will incur an additional charge.

Control…control of where we go, who we talk to, what we read. This already exists in the society we live in, within the communities we reside in, but now if the ISP’s have their way it will exist on the internet. Too bad if you enjoy surfing and participating in forums, discussions, social networks, messenger programs. It will hit your hip pocket in more ways then one. Too bad for those people who rely on the internet for business, for communication or for a stress break from real life. Tough, now you’ll have to pay for the experience, for every site you look at, for every post you make. Then consider the webmaster and the site owner, what will be the point of maintaining a site which people have to pay to visit? How many people will be willing to pay for each and every site they visit? Honestly, think for one moment, how many of you would pay to be here, right now?
Oh and then you’ll have to pay to post your own blogs, shouldn’t it be the other way round?
This world has gone crazy with the need to control, the need to eliminate freedom of choice, freedom of expression , soon we will ask “what was the internet?” then sadly “what is freedom?”
“06/01/2008 - Every significant Internet provider around the globe is currently in talks with access and content providers to transform the internet into a television-like medium: no more freedom, you pay for a small commercial package of sites you can visit and you'll have to pay for seperate subscriptions for every site that's not in the package.
Almost all smaller websites/services will disappear over time and multinationals who are used to using big budgets to brute force their content into every media outlet will finally be able to approach the internet in the same way. “
“Bell Canada and TELUS (formerly owned by Verizon) employees officially confirm that by 2012 ISP's all over the globe will reduce Internet access to a TV-like subscription model, only offering access to a small standard amount of commercial sites and require extra fees for every other site you visit. These 'other' sites would then lose all their exposure and eventually shut down, resulting in what could be seen as the end of the Internet.
Dylan Pattyn , who is currently writing an article for Time Magazine on the issue, has official confirmation from sources within Bell Canada and is interviewing a marketing representative from TELUS who confirms the story and states that TELUS has already started blocking all websites that aren't in the subscription package for mobile Internet access. They could not confirm whether it would happen in 2012 because both stated it may actually happen sooner (as early as 2010). Interviews with these sources, more confirmation from other sources and more in-depth information on the issue is set to be published in Time Magazine soon.”
The Article can be sourced via I Power
Perhaps this is the end of the world as "we know it" in 2012..interesting date the ISP's have chosen..
Not just the end of the internet, but the end of freedom and the beginning total control...

 

The Truth Behind Happiness

Happiness.

What exactly is happiness and how is it defined?

 

Happiness is a very subjective state which varies in meaning from person to person. Each individual has aspects of themselves and the more malleable properties of life which they consider bring happiness. My question is…is happiness something which comes with materialism or with objects? Or is it something bigger, something which dwells inside awaiting the right circumstances and conditions to bloom into magnificence? How we view happiness and what makes us happy is very much influenced by society’s expectations. An example of this is money. One would naturally expect a millionaire to be happy solely because there is no financial pressure, no worries.

Can we be happy with money alone? No I don’t think so. Perhaps, initially the novelty of having so much money you cannot count it would bring some pleasure, but true happiness? Interesting how our society as a whole considers money as an object of class definition, prestige, status and inevitably the degree of happiness each individual should obtain or own. Perhaps those that are narrow minded or perhaps so well conditioned by societal expectations, media and spiritual organisations would disagree, but to honestly look what makes you happy takes courage. Courage because you need to acknowledge that your happiness is based on a different foundation then what is expected by the society we live within. Next time you watch television, take note of the advertisements, notice how each product mentioned intimates some degree of happiness through using it, purchasing it or winning it. What better incentive to give people then to strive towards, buy or gamble then to obtain happiness? What a wonderful ploy, keeps the cogs of society turning smoothly, nothing like dangling a carrot in front of a horse to encourage it to focus on the task at hand.

“That 99% of all social motivations in this culture are based upon money. All the good things in life are assumed to be found on supermarket shelves, and nowhere else. The dollar is God, and God is to be worshiped day and night for the rest of our lives, as the basis for every consideration. Our self worth is defined in the eyes of society in terms of job titles, resumes and income brackets. There is nothing that most people today will not do for money. Any heinous act is committed against nature, the body, the mind, the family and truth, all for the sake of a paycheck. Profit is considered the ideal excuse to commit any atrocity against humanity, including the exploitation of world resources, environmental health, the enslavement of the poor, mass imprisonment of domestic and foreign populations, the destruction of foreign governments and the starvation and induced, mass infection of various populations world-wide. Profits are considered more important than health, happiness, peace, justice, cooperation, wisdom, love, family, truth, clarity, spirit, nature and God.”

 http://www.eoni.com/%7evisionquest/library/truthalone.html

So if happiness is not material, not financial, what is it? Several definitions of happiness: “In his book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman, one of the founders of Positive psychology, describes happiness as consisting of 'positive emotions' and 'positive activities'. He further categorizes emotions related to the past, present and future. Positive emotions relating to the past include satisfaction, contentment, pride and serenity. Positive emotions relating to the future include optimism, hope and trust. Positive emotions about the present are divided into two categories: pleasure and gratifications. The bodily and higher pleasures are "pleasures of the moment" and usually involve some external stimulus. Gratifications involve full engagement, flow, elimination of self-consciousness, and blocking of felt emotions. But when a gratification comes to an end then positive emotions will be felt. Gratifications can be obtained or increased by developing 'signature strengths' and virtues. Authenticity is the derivation of gratification and positive emotions from exercising signature strengths. The good life comes from using 'signature strengths' to obtain abundant gratification in, for example, enjoying work and creative "activities". The most profound sense of happiness is experienced through the 'meaningful life', achieved if one exercises one's unique strengths and virtues in a purpose greater than one's own immediate goals.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness

“Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.

This definition of happiness by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy” http://www.thehappyguy.com/definition-of-happiness.html

Now you decide what happiness means to you and what makes you happy…

© 2008 J Picken

The Unscrupulous

Do you ever get sick of the people in this world who manipulate, scheme, plot and use people? I do.

I am fed up of people being down trodden, tired of inequality. I have had enough., I now rebel, I refuse to join the masses.

Whatever happened to do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Has our society degraded to the level whereby we no longer care about how we make people feel? Sadly I believe so. Unfortunately, feelings and emotions have become a very cheap commodity, one that has little value, one that is no longer revered. Don’t express your emotions in public, you’ll be judged, then it is highly likely you will be segregated, oh and by the way, don’t cry either, because you know, that is a weakness our society looks down upon.

Show one moment of weakness and there is always some unscrupulous person lying in wait to use it to their advantage. Why is this? The ultimate power struggle? Are they power freaks? You know our society endorses power, it endorses those who wish to wield it at any expense. Any expense, that phrase speaks for itself. Look at the world we live in, war, starvation, homelessness, illness. The care factor is sorely lacking, somewhere along our path as a race we have lost the main point, or perhaps we missed it to start with. When as a collective we can prevent suffering, prevent manipulation, prevent pain, prevent the current climate of neglect we live in and truly embrace one another as equals, then we will have the right to own power. Own our own power, the power that develops from with in.

The Blame Game


Blame as defined by Wikipedia: "To blame is to hold another person or group responsible for perceived faults real, imagined, or merely invented for pejorative purposes. Blame is an act of censure, reproach, and often outright condemnation. Blame is used to place responsibility and accountability for faults on the blamed person or group."

Blame is common place in the society of today, people find it difficult to accept responsibility for their actions, words or deeds. Why is this ?
As a whole do we lack insight into the psyche that resides within, are we looking for an "easy way out" ? Quite possibly, is it not much easier to lay the blame at another’s feet then to admit to oneself "Yes I have made a mistake" "Yes it is my fault".

The fear of repercussions perhaps becomes a block to preventing full acceptance of our actions, words and deeds. This is not necessarily the fear of exclusion, reprimand or condemnation, but the penalties we place on ourselves. Human nature dictates that we need to appear responsible and we tend to go to any lengths to achieve this. But is it more the fact that deep inside we do not wish to acknowledge that we have flaws, that we are not as perfect as we may think ? We all have unique perceptions of ourselves, when this perception is shattered by events or circumstances; we find it difficult to accept that we indeed had a role to play. Our ego would have us believe that others are responsible for the issues we face, for the circumstances we need to endure. So yes it is the "easy way out". It is much easier to blame others then it is to face the fact that we do have flaws and imperfections that can be the catalyst for further development. However, instead of using the valuable insight gained from our mistakes, we look to others to accept the responsibility that is truly only ours to take.

Blame , therefore can impede growth and development on all levels. Without the ability to learn from mistakes, how can one progress to the stage where is not concerned by the fear factor of what is inside. Admitting your mistakes to yourself is no doubt one of the most difficult objectives to fulfill, to be blamed by another is equally as difficult to overcome .

When we blame someone we also gain a temporary measure of power, however it is short lived, and whilst we lay blame we give up our true power. We lose power because it becomes trapped by the object of our blame and hence, blame causes us to lose what is most valuable to us, our own self power. It takes much energy to blame, energy sourced from within ,aswell as impeding healing. As much as fear contributes to the blame game, so does pain. Whilst blaming others the pain driving the blame is not dealt with and thus continues to fuel the furnace of blame. Therefore, blaming does not resolve issues , but creates a continuous roundabout of pain-blame-pain-blame.Therefore we can conclude that blame impedes our growth and development in several ways with blame resulting in the denial of self, fear, repressed need to heal and the list goes on.

To help overcome the blame game here are some tips (http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_I_Myhre):
• When you find yourself blaming, give yourself permission to first feel the blame as intensely as possible and then to release it as completely as possible. Then you can more effectively deal with the issue at hand. Don’t deny your blame, if it’s there.
• If you absolutely must blame, at least blame yourself
• Use your blame as a stepping stone rather than a hiding place. Then you’ll be taking your power back. Then you’ll be using blame effectively.
© J Picken

How Do We Define Freedom?

How do we define freedom ?

Wikipedia defines freedom as follows
“Freedom (the idea of being free) is a very broad concept that has been given numerous different interpretations by different philosophies and schools of thought. The protection of interpersonal freedom can be the object of a social and political investigation, while the metaphysical foundation of inner freedom is a philosophical and psychological question. Both forms of freedom come together in each individual as the internal and external values mesh together in a dynamic compromise and power struggle; the society fighting for power in defining the values of individuals and the individual fighting for societal acceptance and respect in establishing one's own values in it.
In philosophy, freedom often ties in with the question of free will. Libertarian philosophers have argued that all human beings are always free - Jean-Paul Sartre, for instance, famously claimed that humans are "condemned to be free" - because they always have a choice even an external authority can only threaten punishment after an action, not physically prevent a person from carrying out an action. At the other end of the spectrum, determinism claims that the future is pre-determined and freedom is an illusion.”
Freedom exists on many levels, emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental. We, as the wonderful beings we are, also have a tendency to self limit our own freedom. We place constraints on our behavior, how we think, how we feel and what we do.
We desperately yearn to be free, but strangely enough, we tend to be our biggest jailer. Why? Is it because we have lost touch with what we truly desire? In essence yes, we have forgotten that we possess the strength to make our own decisions, determine our own existence. We have become rather complacent and have capitulated to the pressure of the majority of our society and have readily accepted concepts and belief systems that inhibit the very same freedom we seek.
When one begins to question “is this what I really want?” and begins to delve into the deeper regions of their being, further questions arise, questions which have perhaps laid dormant and unanswered. Questions regarding mindset, values, objectives and achievement, arise and slowly recognition of the need for personal freedom in thought, emotion, spirit and physical presence blossoms. Once the blossoming begins we search for ways to break free of the shackles that we have created for ourselves, which we have permitted to develop.
Can we really achieve true freedom on all levels? I think we can, I believe it is possible, but also to make this possible we need to recognize factors which keep us prisoner.
© 2008 J Picken

Self Power, Would You Give It Up?

When one gives up their self power, one gives up their soul, gives up their identity. It is very easy to fall into to the trap of handing over ones autonomy, often it happens with such stealth it goes unnoticed. Once your self empowerment is in another’s hands it becomes a most dangerous weapon for the wrong person to wield.
Trust me I know.
It becomes a tool of control, to some extent brain washing as you become more and more reliant on the person who holds your true power prisoner. Even worse if the holder of your power has manipulative tendencies and acts without conscience. Eventually, such a high level of dependency occurs that you forget your identity, you believe whatever you are told, you become so concerned with pleasing others you forget the most important person in the equation: yourself.
Often you are forced into behavioural patterns that are not within your true nature, pushed to undertake things that do not resonate with the spirit within. There is a lack of clarity , no direction as you become more dependent on others, their vision becomes yours, their beliefs becomes yours as you gradually molded into someone who you can no longer recognize.
However, that being said, eventually there is an awakening, an inkling deep inside that perhaps the whole situation is not quite right. There are small clues and hints which become more visable over time as the awakening gradually increases. What causes this awakening? An event , circumstance, argument, the clear vision of a trusted confident, something which triggers deep within, a memory, a suspicion a rebellious thought regarding the person holding your self power. As time passes the suspicions grow, you become more astute, you watch and listen, actions speak louder then words.
You start having thoughts that not all is as it should be, that something feels out of kilter, that you are the one always giving with no reciprocation. These suspicions grow until you gather the inner strength to say no. Then watch and listen to the behaviour of the power taker, you will notice them grasping for control by attempting to exert their authority over you in one way or another, emotional black mail, manipulation and using your personal knowledge against you.
Once we have clear focus, once we can see the true nature of the relationship, we can begin to gather strength and energy to reclaim our self empowerment reclaim one of the most important aspects of ourselves.
It is not easy, not by a long shot, in fact it can be a very long, painful struggle, but ultimately the reward is priceless. The reward being freedom, wholeness, oneness, the power to be who you are and develop into what you have the potential to be.
Don’t ever give away your self power, trust me it is a very harsh lesson to learn.
© J Picken

Doors, A Lesson in Change

Everyone has experienced times when everything seems overwhelming, stressful and possibly without hope. The open doors close in your face, your belief system is sorely tested and self doubt creeps in. You sink deeper and deeper into despair, into the great abyss of emptiness and develop tunnel vision for the emotions that run riot within. Not knowing which way to turn or who to turn to, withdrawal looks the best option, the best because there is no longer trust. No longer trust in you, others or the universal energy that is God, Spirit or any other name one chooses to use.
True, perhaps the doors we know, the doors we are most familiar have closed, but we neglect to look for the new doors that are opening. Perhaps we are too busy trying to fight to keep the doors open that we know, they are familiar, safe and non threatening. It takes courage to move in a new direction, courage to accept that which we cannot change.
We some how have this grand illusion that change is not good, change is not for our highest good, but without change there is no growth. No growth of spirit, no growth of mind, body or emotion.
Each change provides new lessons in the school of life, some much more difficult then others, but relevant for our development and expansion of soul. All the changes and experiences we have faced or will ever face is a catalyst for who we are, who we will be.
It is not easy to let go, let go of what we love and know. Just because we love and know something that does not mean it is in our best interests to retain it, to stay on the roundabout, to keep moving in a continuous circle.
Great inner strength, faith and a helping hand provide the guidance we need in order to move out of the circle, move forward and take the path we have chosen. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and surprisingly enough, a hand is reaching out to help us up from the direction we least expect it, at a time we least expect it.
© J Picken

 

The Pain Within

Pain is an intense feeling, one that we try to hide from, try to avoid. Physical pain, in many instances is much easier to face then the pain experienced within. The face of pain changes, mingles with emotions and causes disillusionment, not only in others, but more importantly with oneself.
Many articles will state that in order to deal with the pain, one needs to face it. This is much easier said then done. After all, who really wishes to confront the cause of hurt, the wound which travels deep within? Some wounds run so deep that the original injury remains illusive.
Sometimes there are so many layers of protection we have unconsciously placed over the wound, so many that the wound festers and ultimately increases in size and with each increase in size we tend to add another layer, another band aid, another quick fix.
Yes we do need to heal the wound and in order to achieve ultimate healing, we need to gently take away one layer at a time at a speed which is most comfortable for ourselves. Yes, initially the pain may overwhelm us, it may consume us as each layer is carefully removed and we work closer to the source of our hurt.
Once we finally expose the source, the wound within we can confront the fear, the pain, the frustration and anger and all the other emotions that have festered there within the wound.
Acknowledging that the wound exists dispels denial and overcomes avoidance, to reach this stage signals no going back and the intent of finishing what we set out to achieve. To begin healing within, to truly commence the healing process, most of all we need to forgive ourselves. Forgive ourselves first, we tend to hold grudges against ourself, blame ourselves for allowing circumstances, events and situations to occur and even for being who we are or who we think we are.
To forgive does not mean that the circumstance, event or situation, which has caused our wound, was in any way justified, that the people/person involved was justified, it means we acknowledge that for our own sake that “yes it happened” and “yes I forgive myself” and “yes because I want to heal I also forgive those involved, not for their sakes but for my own.”
Once we can achieve true forgiveness, we can then begin to find love for ourselves, unconditional love. When we have unconditional love for ourselves, the healing process is well and truly underway, the pain will ease, the hurt and disillusionment will slowly dissipate and dissolve.
It is by no means an easy process, it certainly is not a painless one either, but one very necessary to our progress, to moving on, to remove limitations that we have placed on ourselves.

© 2008 J Picken