The Blame Game


Blame as defined by Wikipedia: "To blame is to hold another person or group responsible for perceived faults real, imagined, or merely invented for pejorative purposes. Blame is an act of censure, reproach, and often outright condemnation. Blame is used to place responsibility and accountability for faults on the blamed person or group."

Blame is common place in the society of today, people find it difficult to accept responsibility for their actions, words or deeds. Why is this ?
As a whole do we lack insight into the psyche that resides within, are we looking for an "easy way out" ? Quite possibly, is it not much easier to lay the blame at another’s feet then to admit to oneself "Yes I have made a mistake" "Yes it is my fault".

The fear of repercussions perhaps becomes a block to preventing full acceptance of our actions, words and deeds. This is not necessarily the fear of exclusion, reprimand or condemnation, but the penalties we place on ourselves. Human nature dictates that we need to appear responsible and we tend to go to any lengths to achieve this. But is it more the fact that deep inside we do not wish to acknowledge that we have flaws, that we are not as perfect as we may think ? We all have unique perceptions of ourselves, when this perception is shattered by events or circumstances; we find it difficult to accept that we indeed had a role to play. Our ego would have us believe that others are responsible for the issues we face, for the circumstances we need to endure. So yes it is the "easy way out". It is much easier to blame others then it is to face the fact that we do have flaws and imperfections that can be the catalyst for further development. However, instead of using the valuable insight gained from our mistakes, we look to others to accept the responsibility that is truly only ours to take.

Blame , therefore can impede growth and development on all levels. Without the ability to learn from mistakes, how can one progress to the stage where is not concerned by the fear factor of what is inside. Admitting your mistakes to yourself is no doubt one of the most difficult objectives to fulfill, to be blamed by another is equally as difficult to overcome .

When we blame someone we also gain a temporary measure of power, however it is short lived, and whilst we lay blame we give up our true power. We lose power because it becomes trapped by the object of our blame and hence, blame causes us to lose what is most valuable to us, our own self power. It takes much energy to blame, energy sourced from within ,aswell as impeding healing. As much as fear contributes to the blame game, so does pain. Whilst blaming others the pain driving the blame is not dealt with and thus continues to fuel the furnace of blame. Therefore, blaming does not resolve issues , but creates a continuous roundabout of pain-blame-pain-blame.Therefore we can conclude that blame impedes our growth and development in several ways with blame resulting in the denial of self, fear, repressed need to heal and the list goes on.

To help overcome the blame game here are some tips (http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_I_Myhre):
• When you find yourself blaming, give yourself permission to first feel the blame as intensely as possible and then to release it as completely as possible. Then you can more effectively deal with the issue at hand. Don’t deny your blame, if it’s there.
• If you absolutely must blame, at least blame yourself
• Use your blame as a stepping stone rather than a hiding place. Then you’ll be taking your power back. Then you’ll be using blame effectively.
© J Picken