Expressing Your Emotions, Your Way

- by Mark Tyrrell

It's strange that, in a highly publicly emotional age, so many people find it difficult to express emotion. We are surrounded by images of people being emotional. Every news item includes an excited journalist asking someone who's just come through some trauma or triumph, "How does it feel?" So why do so many people struggle with emotional expression? How can you learn to express emotion freely and appropriately?

Representations of emotion are confusing and misleading
There's a curious gap between the emotions displayed on TV and on public occasions and the private emotions of individuals. When you look at emotional expression in the media, whether it's the news or a drama or a sitcom, you could be forgiven for thinking that emotions are rather extreme things. Everybody seems to be going over the top! What have these melodramatics got to do with what you feel every day?

Are other people leading a more emotionally rich life than you?
Of course, you have to bear in mind that representations you commonly see in the media tend to focus on the unusual, the out of the ordinary. The 'ordinary', by definition, isn't 'news'. Nor is it 'drama'. Ordinary, everyday emotions, like ordinary, everyday life, rarely feature. This has the odd effect of creating the impression that 'other people' are leading much more dramatic and interesting lives than we are ourselves.

Learning the wrong lessons about emotional expression
And it creates the impression that other people are much better at expressing their emotions. And much more demonstrative overall. This can leave you feeling ill at ease about your own emotions, and even less likely to express what you feel. If, on top of that, your upbringing downplayed emotions, or taught you that certain emotions are 'bad', it is not surprising that emotional expression can seem like a minefield best avoided.

The high cost of not being able to express your emotions
But there is a high cost to emotional shutdown. You have to pretend, to yourself and others, that you don't feel things. Or that you feel something other than what you really feel. You can reach a stage where you are no longer sure what you really feel. Constant pretence and denial leads to a lack of authenticity - not being 'real'. It can feel as if nobody knows the real 'you'. That's very lonely. And it can make life very flat and dull.

What happens when you learn to express yourself more freely
Conversely, when you break out of these confines and rediscover how to feel what you feel and show what you feel in appropriate ways, life suddenly gets a lot more interesting! When you start to openly express positive emotions like joy, fascination, love, humor, enthusiasm, etc, you become instantly more appealing and attractive to other people.

It's not just about positive emotions, either. Everybody experiences negative emotions like anger or jealousy or boredom too. There is nothing 'bad' about these feelings, in themselves. They are just your response to certain situations. When you can handle them appropriately, and acknowledge them in constructive ways, your life becomes rounder, fuller, more mature. Your self-respect and self-understanding grow.

But where do you start?

Using your unconscious mind to acquire emotional freedom
Express your emotions is an audio hypnosis session which utilizes the innate capacities of your unconscious mind to bring about beneficial changes in your life. It will take you into a profound state of relaxation - the state in which we learn best - and help you begin to explore your real potential for emotional expression.

The powerful hypnotic suggestions you will hear in Express your emotions will make it easy for you to absorb and integrate new patterns of behavior in ways which are appropriate to your specific situation. You will find that you feel more and more at ease with yourself - and therefore relaxed about expressing what you feel when it's right to do so.

Download Express Your Emotions and discover a whole new world of feeling.

Mark Tyrrell, with Roger Elliott, provides the most effective range of Hypnosis Downloads available. State-of-the-art hypnotic sound-tracks are available for you to use in the privacy of your own home and just a download away - powerful solutions for each of your problem issues. If you need the very best help with self-confidence, social skills, and self-help in general, this is the place to go.

Caring For The Carer? Does Anyone?

Yes I have been a carer, many more times then I wish I had. Now you will be judging me, thinking “How awful for her to say that, does she not have feeling or compassion?”

Well come to what conclusions you wish, for I know I did the best I could during those times. Unless you’ve walked in my shoes, experienced what I have, ridden the emotional rollercoaster I have lived, you have no right.

Let me give you some insight into caring, into providing 24 hours care to someone who you love during a terminal illness. Easy you say? Actually, if you think that then you certainly need to keep reading.

Lets take a walk back in time, back to the year 1994…Christmas time.

This year I had a great gift, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Think a minute on the implications of this announcement at this time of year. Just for a minute try and actually feel the full range of emotions from sadness, devastation, loss, grief, hopelessness…great Christmas gift huh?

So now we have a family in an emotional mess, knowing full well that there is no cure for cancer, knowing that lung cancer has one of the highest death rates of all cancers, knowing we were on borrowed time.

With both my mother and I being nurses, we looked after my father at home where he died in 1995, not even 12 months post diagnosis.

Yes he did the radiotherapy, we suffered as much as he did, we suffered his temper, his frustration and his pain 24 hours a day. Plus having to grieve. Yes, when someone you love is diagnosed with a terminal illness the grieving process begins immediately; inevitably life as you know it is on borrowed time, you know that you will lose that person regardless.

Turn the clock forward to 2005, history has a bad habit of repeating…

Yes, once again it’s Christmas. Yet another wonderful gift, my mother is diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, yes, cancer , this time a blood cancer which affects the blood marrows ability to maintain blood cell production. This time I’m alone, I know there is no cure, I know I will lose Mum, it’s just a matter of time.Once again good old grief kicks in, but this time I am faced with being the sole carer, the only one who will provide the care to my Mum 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Caring has far greater implications then just attending to the everyday needs of the physical, it also incorporates the emotional, the psychological, the spiritual.

Stop and think for a minute how you would feel if you had to listen to someone you love beg every day for you to let them die. You are already in a constant anxiety state, constantly fear “Is today going to be the day?” do you truly know what it’s like to fear the phone ringing when you’re at work, fear because just perhaps your loved one has passed. Do you know how it feels to wake up every morning and wonder if you’re going to find your loved one dead in their bed?

Besides that, you’re already severely sleep deprived because your loved one needs something, needs medical assistance or needs comfort all through the night. Exhaustion becomes your greatest friend, friend because it’s with you all the time.

No, I didn’t always have the greatest amount of patience with my mother, we had some horrific arguments and no she was not always easy to deal with as her illness progressed, in fact our arguments used to end with her saying “you want me dead”. As if I was not going through enough pain and grief.You see people who are terminal also experience many stages on an emotional level, stages us carers find it difficult to deal with, stages that scare us.

Even being a registered nurse, a trained health professional, you could say well you have the training and knowledge to cope with this. Hello, this is my mum, not some patient I do not know from a bar of soap. Bottom line is I had a hard job dealing with my own grief, pain and exhaustion and then lump on top of that the pressure of not knowing, the need to provide care for all aspects of her being, not a conducive mix to staying healthy and alive.

Again lets move forward to 2007…the end of July.

Mum was officially in remission,she was feeling great and beginning to live again, we both were, things were looking great, we’d planned our future, set some common goals, I could actually shake off the feeling of being in constant limbo and feel like I had a future. Yes, when being a fulltime carer 24/7, you are in limbo, you cannot plan, cannot hope to dream because you know that at any time these can be easily shattered.

Mum got a virus, developed into pneumonia, the extensive chemotherapy and the stem cell transplant had diminished her immune system to zero, leaving her highly susceptible to anything.

Within 5 days I was sitting in intensive care with the head medical practitioner explaining to me why I needed to turn off the life support which kept my mother breathing. Total organ failure. The only thing that was keeping her alive was a machine, the only fully functional organ left was her brain.

Well, I’ll leave you to imagine what that was like, imagine because unless you’ve been there one that you really would not know…

And know I ask who will care for the carers? Does anyone?

 © 2008J Picken

How do we define freedom ?

Wikipedia defines freedom as follows:

“Freedom (the idea of being free) is a very broad concept that has been given numerous different interpretations by different philosophies and schools of thought. The protection of interpersonal freedom can be the object of a social and political investigation, while the metaphysical foundation of inner freedom is a philosophical and psychological question. Both forms of freedom come together in each individual as the internal and external values mesh together in a dynamic compromise and power struggle; the society fighting for power in defining the values of individuals and the individual fighting for societal acceptance and respect in establishing one's own values in it.

In philosophy, freedom often ties in with the question of free will. Libertarian philosophers have argued that all human beings are always free - Jean-Paul Sartre, for instance, famously claimed that humans are "condemned to be free" - because they always have a choice even an external authority can only threaten punishment after an action, not physically prevent a person from carrying out an action. At the other end of the spectrum, determinism claims that the future is pre-determined and freedom is an illusion.”

Freedom exists on many levels, emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental. We, as the wonderful beings we are, also have a tendency to self limit our own freedom. We place constraints on our behavior, how we think, how we feel and what we do.

We desperately yearn to be free, but strangely enough, we tend to be our biggest jailer. Why? Is it because we have lost touch with what we truly desire? In essence yes, we have forgotten that we possess the strength to make our own decisions, determine our own existence. We have become rather complacent and have capitulated to the pressure of the majority of our society and have readily accepted concepts and belief systems that inhibit the very same freedom we seek.

When one begins to question “is this what I really want?” and begins to delve into the deeper regions of their being, further questions arise, questions which have perhaps laid dormant and unanswered. Questions regarding mindset, values, objectives and achievement, arise and slowly recognition of the need for personal freedom in thought, emotion, spirit and physical presence blossoms. Once the blossoming begins we search for ways to break free of the shackles that we have created for ourselves, which we have permitted to develop.

Can we really achieve true freedom on all levels? I think we can, I believe it is possible, but also to make this possible we need to recognize factors which keep us prisoner.

© 2008 J Picken

“Gifting To Oneself”

                                                                            

The general consensus suggests that the art of giving to ones self is, in essence, selfish behavior. 
The constraints of societal conditioning would have us believe that we would 
not only be selfish, but also greedy, thoughtless and self centered. 
So tell me… if one spends all their time giving to others in some, way shape or form, do they not, at some time, deserve something?

The necessity or need to please others, to give to others, to self sacrifice is
endorsed. If this is endorsed for others, then why can we not endorse it for our own
selves? Interesting is it not… give something to yourself, whether small or large,
and start feeling guilty. Hey those well programmed thought patterns leap up and
start blabbing about the need of others being so much higher then your own.
At this stage we begin believing others are more deserving, needier then ourselves.
How have we allowed ourselves to be manipulated to such a degree that we have
forgotten the importance of wholeness of our own being, to be holistically complete
is quite interesting at best. If we are not complete within ourselves how can we
effectively give, help and support others? How can we give something that we do
not have to give?

In order to provide the necessary assistance to others we need to assist ourselves
and learn to give to ourselves and accept this. It is imperative if we wish to give to
others in any capacity. We need to break free of the illusion of selfishness,
greediness thoughtlessness and self centeredness
and do what we need to do to keep ourselves whole and functioning to the optimum ability possible.

So next time your inner self screams for a moments peace and needs to get away,
do not permit that martyrdom mentality, that we have all been so well conditioned
by... to overcome our own natural need for inner peace. In fact, view it from this
perspective… a brief respite now will maintain and assist the wholeness I need to
continue to give what I need to give to others. Giving to others means you also have
the ability to give to yourself.

by: Jodie Picken CoAuthor
(all rights reserved)
From “The Reverse NeuroLinguistic

Programming Internet Series” ©2008

Steps to Quiet the Chaotic Mind

By Art –Luffarticlesbase.com

Worry, frustration, confusion, sleeplessness and fear are all components of the chaotic mind, making just one simple goal difficult to achieve and the success you greatly desire remains elusive.There is no success in a mind of chaos! One needs to attain peace and calmness in the mind in order to encourage positive thoughts. A daily regiment of positive affirmations is paramount to your success!Normally one finds it very difficult to manage and control the mind. Sometimes, one may feel that the mind is similar to a balloon, blown by the wind, taken to any direction and circumstance the wind takes it.

When things come out well, the mind is contented, but when things go badly, instantly the mind becomes very unhappy.Because the mind and one's emotions are connected, a disturbance in one will distract the coordination and harmony of the two. For instance, when one gets the result or the relationship that he wants, such as a partner, a job promotion or a new car, one bonds to it very tightly.However, because often, these possessions and relationships are uncontrollable, the moment that one is separated from all these causes so much pain, And all the negative emotions causes chaos.Such mood fluctuations arise for the main reason that one is closely attached with the outside situation. However, when the mind is relaxed, one makes an inner room and clearness which enables one to control and manage the mind despite the external situation.

Gradually one develops mental balance, which is a state of the mind that is happy and positive always; confused mind moves back and forth between the intemperance of despondency and excitement.In meditation, one can achieve a peaceful and calm mind that is free of worries and anxiety, so one can experience happiness, encouraging and attracting positive behavior; a chaotic mind, only attracts negative feelings and behavior, therefore it is a barrier to setting and achieving goals.With a chaotic mind one will have a hard time experiencing happiness, even when one is already in the best of circumstances. Constant meditation trains the mind to gradually be more and more cheerful and peaceful, eventually experience balance and happiness, being able to stay positive even in the most complicated or worst situations. This is a state of mind that is very crucial to achieving success.The mind is like a station, sending out energy or power signals (your beliefs and thoughts). These energy and power patterns are then grasped by the subconscious mind that is responsible for creating the circumstances, situations and events to assist one in achieving what one's beliefs, thoughts and goals are.

The subconscious mind never distinguishes what is bad or good for you; it only acts on what instructions it receives from the conscious mind, meaning what your thoughts and beliefs are.So while there is that desire in you that you want to accomplish a certain goal, if you do not truly believe and truly trust that will be able to, if you, with your chaotic mind constantly think about the reason why you can not achieve something rather than why it will be easy for you to do it, then you will be sending instruction to your "subconscious mind" to establish certain circumstances in which it will be difficult for you to accomplish your goals.This is the reason why negativethoughts should be eliminated and only entertain positive thoughts, all the time.Constant positive affirmations likewise attract positive situations, and influence the subconscious to create a situation favorable to you. Affirmations are positive thoughts spoken with great trust, faith and absolute power that what you say, you will accomplish.

In addition to these positive affirmations your goals success can be insured by writing them down.Remember, first and foremost to keep a focused mind and never entertain negative thoughts. However, should a negative thought enter your mind, block it off with positive thinking and never, ever affirm it. For like the chaotic mind, verbal affirmations can greatly affect your attitude towards accomplishing your goals.Never be a prisoner of the chaos in your mind. Release all those hurts, frustration and anger that you feel deep inside. Look at the world in a different point of view and believe that you can accomplish anything as long as you have faith in you that you can.There is no success in chaos, and chaos will not lead to success. It is balancing the mind, releasing all stress that the mind feels, letting go of all negativethoughts and making a clear image of the life that you want to live, can there be success.

How Fear Makes You Sick

How Fear Makes You Sick 

 by Lisa Rankin

• You're afraid to start your own business because you might fail.
• You're afraid to go to the doctor because she might find something wrong.
• You're afraid to get married because you might wind up divorced.
• You're afraid to travel to Africa because Africa can be so dangerous.
• You're afraid to do what you love because it might not pay the bills.
• You're afraid to ask out the object of your affection because you might get rejected.
• You're afraid to go for that first kiss.
• You're afraid to take guitar lessons because you might suck.
• You're afraid to quit your soul-sucking job because you might never find another one.
• You're afraid to retire because you might not have enough money.
• You're afraid to buy your dream home because you might not be able to make the mortgage.
• You're afraid to take French lessons because it might mean you'll actually have to go to France.
• You're afraid to let them see you cry because they might think you're unprofessional.
• You're afraid to let them see the real you because they might not like you.

Fear Is Everywhere
It surrounds us. Many of us are completely ruled by it, moment by moment, day after day. We're panicked rats, racing around in a maze while being chased by dragons. Life is scary. But did you know that, even more so than smoking or boozing it up or eating fried food or being a couch potato, fear is bad for your health? There. Now you have something else to be afraid of. (Just kidding.)

Seriously, though, we experience fear for a reason. It's meant to protect us, so that when we're being chased by a cave bear, our fear response triggers the body's "fight or flight" mode and we're better able to outrun the bear. But I have news for you, darling. There is no cave bear. It's all in your mind. Well… really, it's all in your body. Here's how.

The Body's Stress Response
Your lizard brain is a computer that can't tell the difference between a cave bear chasing you and less life-threatening fears. When your brain registers the emotion of fear – whether it's fear of being rejected by the one you love, fear of quitting your job, or fear of losing money – it trips a switch that triggers the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, activating the hypothalamus and releasing corticotrophin-releasing factor (CRF) into the nervous system. CRF stimulates the pituitary gland, causing it to secrete prolactin, growth hormone, and adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which stimulate the adrenal gland and cause it to release cortisol, which is responsible for helping the body maintain homeostasis when the brain experiences fear and assumes that a threat – like the cave bear – is a clear and present danger.

When you're scared, your lizard brain also turns on the sympathetic nervous system (the "fight-or-flight" response), causing the adrenal glands to release epinephrine and norepinephrine, which increase pulse, blood pressure, and affect other physiological responses. The secretion of these hormones leads to a variety of metabolic changes all over the body.

Blood vessels traveling to the gastrointestinal tract, hands, and feet constrict, while vessels traveling to the heart, large muscle groups, and brain dilate, preferentially shunting blood to the organs that will help you get out of dodge in an emergency. Your pupils dilate so more light can get in. Metabolism speeds up in order to jolt you with a boost of energy by breaking down fat stores and liberating glucose into the blood stream. Your respiratory rate increases and your bronchi dilate, allowing more oxygen in, and your muscles become tense and ready to sprint away from the cave bear.

Stomach acid increases and digestive enzymes decrease, often leading to esophageal contractions, diarrhea, or constipation. Cortisol suppresses your immune system to reduce the inflammation that would accompany any wounds the attacking cave bear might inflict. Reproduction gets shut off (sex is a luxury when there's a cave bear around!)

There Is No Cave Bear
Basically, if you're getting attacked by a cave bear, your body ignores sleeping, digesting, and reproducing, while it focuses on running, breathing, thinking, and delivering oxygen and energy wherever it deems it necessary in order to keep you safe. When you're scared about losing money, getting rejected, or failing at a professional venture, the body doesn't realize that there is no cave bear. It just flips on the physiological stress response, and over time, when this stress response is repetitively triggered, nature's biological response winds up actually doing more harm than good.

Here's The Kicker
When your body is in the stress response, it can't repair itself. Bodily functions break down every day, but they can only repair themselves when the body is in a state of physiological relaxation. When the stress response is repetitively triggered, organs get damaged and the body can't fix them. The cancer cells we naturally make, which usually get blasted away by the immune system, are allowed to proliferate. The effects of chronic wear-and-tear on the human body take their toll, and we wind up sick.

It Doesn't Have to Be This Way
The body knows how to relax with a scientifically proven counterbalancing relaxation response. (For more details, read Dr. Herbert Bensen's bestselling book The Relaxation Response). When the conscious forebrain thinks and feels positive thoughts, things like love, connection, intimacy, pleasure, and hope, the fearful emotions dissipate, and the hypothalamus stops triggering the stress responses. When you feel optimistic and hopeful, loved and supported, in the flow in your professional or creative life, spiritually tapped in, or sexually connected to another person, the relaxation response takes the place of the stress response.

Fear Predisposes You to Illness and Makes Recovery Difficult
Love, faith and pleasure are preventative medicine and highly effective treatment. When the body relaxes, the sympathetic nervous system shuts off. Cortisol and adrenaline, which damage the body over time, drop. The parasympathetic nervous system takes over. The immune system flips back on. And the body can go about its natural self-repair process. Voila! Your mind can heal your body, and it's not some New Age metaphysical thing. It's simple physiology.

Lissa Rankin, MD: Creator of the health and wellness communities LissaRankin.comand OwningPink.com, author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself (Hay House, 2013), TEDx speaker, and Health Care Evolutionary. Join hernewsletter list for free guidance on healing yourself.

The Courage To Heal

By Steven E. Hodes, M.D. This is the last freedom – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. —Victor Frankl Does the concept of courage and healing seem at all intriguing? It does to me. As a physician, a gastroenterologist with over 25 years clinical experience ofcaring for patients I have pondered the difference between how I was trained to practice my profession and my present understanding of healing. As a product of the traditional approach to medicine, I viewed the patient as a machine who was suffering from some undisclosed mechanical failure. Why else would they be sitting before me in my office? Certainly I was aware that anxiety or depression could exacerbate the symptoms of disease, but the extent to which the mind, body and spirit were united was unappreciated. Gradually, as my own understanding evolved, it became crystal clear that all three elements co-existed, interacted and inter-related in a dynamic flow. Since the term ‘healing’ referred to ‘making whole’, all aspects of the patient needed to be understood and addressed if true healing was to be accomplished. SELF-AWARENESS PRECEDS SELF-REPAIR I also came to appreciate, to a far greater degree than I could have imagined, that my role as physician was to facilitate the body’s intrinsic and phenomenal ability to heal itself. Gradually, I began educating my patients to this truth. As products of our culture’s mechanistic paradigm of disease, they would enter my examining room as if they were bringing their car to a mechanic. Whether expressed explicitly or not, the attitude was, ‘fix me, you’re the doctor’. I had to help transform that attitude and challenge them to participate in their own healing. For some it became a rather frightening concept to ponder. It meant taking charge of their own mental/emotional/ spiritual state of being. It meant facing their own demons. It required the courage to see that their symptoms might be the tip of a deeper iceberg of discontent and disequilibrium; that their symptoms might very well reflect a deeper dis-ease of mind and spirit; that they would have to listen to what their body was telling them and come to terms with feelings and thoughts that had been previously denied or even repressed. THE COURAGE TO BE—HEALED Before you can understand the nature of healing you must understand the spiritual nature of human beings. While for some patients this will have to do with faith, religion and a belief in God, for others it may simply be a sense of connection to the ‘Universe’ or to ‘Spirit.’ The universal human attraction to religion and spirituality can not be debated here, yet it also cannot be ignored in any discussion of healing. There are great insights to be found in all the world’s traditions, as well as many schools of metaphysics. Oftentimes, it is the search for relief from illness or imbalance that leads people to find their true spiritual path. Protestant theologian Paul Tillich had written about courage all of us need in the face of life’s enormous existential challenges. Fear is the primal human state of being. We face it as children as we confront the cold reality that we are unique, vulnerable and sensitive beings. Henceforth, our lives seem to require a constant struggle against the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’. We become reactive to real and perceived threats from others. We fear intimacy and the expression of love for this exposes our inner fragility. For many this becomes an attitude that ranges from sadness and depression to hostility and outrage. Such feelings form the substrate for disease itself. Healing often requires the courage to face that perception and the courage to choose to transform that feeling/attitude/belief into a mechanism for growth and equanimity. How we cope with these ever-present challenges helps determine the quality of our lives. There are powerful strategies which can unquestionably help us in our own internal struggles. We need to learn, and really ‘get,’ that our minds do create our own realities and that courage is needed to face the challenge, to own up to that truth. It is not easy, but ultimately it is the only path to internal peace and, yes, healing. ©Copyright 2006 Steven E. Hodes.All Rights Reserved. Steven E. Hodes, M.D. is a board certified gastroenterologist with over 25 years private practice based in Edison and Old Bridge New Jersey. He also has a degree in Religious Studies and teaches Contemporary Metaphysics at Brookdale College as well as lecturing and writing on Kabbalah and Healing, the Jewish View of Afterlife and on Near-Death Experience. Visit him at his daily Blog, Physician to Meta-Physician at www.meta-md.com.

Reflections of Self We Are All Mirrors for Each Other

Reflections of Self We Are All Mirrors for Each Other When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like. Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues. When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.

The Healing Power of the Mind

The Healing Power of the Mind
Linda Mackenzie, C.H.T.

"A picture is worth a thousand words." We have heard that saying before. This phrase is certainly true in the case of visualization. Visualization is a tool anyone can use to help foster healing. By providing positive pictures (creative imagery) and self-suggestion, visualization can change emotions that subsequently have a physical effect on the body.

OUR BELIEF SYSTEM
Our belief system is based upon the accumulation of verbal and non verbal suggestions that have been gathered throughout our life experience. Through patterns of repetition and its associated rewards and punishment we learn to create our own perception of reality. In essence, we therefore become what we think. In healing repetitive use of positive visualization allows access to the "mind-body"connection. This lets the mind and body work together to foster the healing process of the body on a physical level.

THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION
What is the mind-body connection and how does it work? When we have an emotion it generates a feeling that turns into a physical sensation. For example: You are watching a horror movie, you feel frightened and then get a chill up your spine. In this case you were getting a negative suggestion through your sensory perception (sight and sound), that produced an emotion of fear which turned into the physical sensation of chills up your spine. Visualization uses positive images to produce positive emotions that manifest into positive physical sensations in the body.
Sounds simple, but does it work?

WHAT WE THINK AFFECTS HEALING
Can what we think actually have an effect on healing? Bodies do react to the thoughts you make. Our psychological/emotional state affects the endocrine system. For example, the emotion of fear is related to adrenaline. If no feeling of fear exists there is no adrenaline and the same applies in reverse- no adrenaline, no fear. They work in relationship to each other. Wherever a thought goes there is a body chemical reaction.
The hypothalamus, the emotional center of the brain, transforms emotions into physical response. The receptor of neuropeptides, the hypothalamus controls the body's appetite, blood sugar levels, body temperature, adrenal and pituitary glands, heart, lung, digestive and circulatory systems. Neuropeptides, the chemical messenger hormones, carry emotions back and forth between the mind and body. They link perception in the brain to the body via organs, hormones and cellular activity. Neuropeptides influence every major section of the immune system, so the body and mind do work together as one unit.

THE BRAIN
The brain is a highly efficient system that is connected to every cell in your body by billions of connections. It is divided into two sides ñ the left, logical side (words, logic, rational thought) and the right creative side (imagination and intuition). Day to day circumstances usually are met in a logical, left brain mode; however by yielding to the right, creative side of the brain we actually restore balance in the brain. This allows us access to the mind-body connection to achieve what we want. The right side of the brain automatically steers you to your goal. It totally accepts what you want to accomplish without giving an opinion and acts upon it without judgment. That is why visualization targets the right side of the brain.

POSITIVE THOUGHT PRODUCES POSITIVE RESULTS
Positive thought is essential to producing positive results. Negative thoughts and emotions lower the immune system, while positive emotions actually boost the immune system.

HOW TO USE VISUALIZATION AS A MIND EMPOWERING TOOL
The following are required to use visualization as a mind empowering tool to support the healing process:

1. Define Your Specific Intention
Visualization puts your intention of what you want to work. Remember whatever you believe is what your body will do. The more specific the intention, the more specific the results. Make sure your intention is:
• Clear
• Specific
• Achievable
• You feel, know and trust it is being accomplished.

2. Take Responsibility
Trying to do visualization without taking responsibility will prove to be futile experience. To accomplish what you want you must take action and responsibility. Visualization usually takes about 6 weeks to work and is done once in the morning and before bedtime. Some people do see and feel results the very first time. Remember everyone's body and mind are different and so is the way they process information. Responsibility is:
Be accountable to and for yourself.

• Make a commitment
• Do visualization regularly
• Be persistent and patient
• Keep positive

3. Get Mentally Relaxed
A relaxed state allows you direct access to your subconscious mind. Here are some steps to help you relax:

• Find a quiet place. Relax in a favorite chair or lie down.
• Get comfortable and loosen clothing
• Uncross your arms and legs
• Get centered by focusing on the breath and breathing (this activates the vagus nerve which is the major quieting nerve in the body)
• Totally relax your body and mind .

4. Visualize
Visualization for healing is a simple process. Once you are relaxed the next step is to actualize your visualization.
• Think of or speak your intention out loud
• Close your eyes and imagine yourself in the healing process or as you want to be.
• Watch as your body heals you, see yourself whole and healthy.
• Feel the healing taking place
• Know and Trust the healing is being accomplished
If you have difficulty you may want to try one or more of these methods:
• Use creative imagery like seeing the cells in your body healing you; your immune system fighting off invaders; your pain being taken away by the healing mind
• Imagine yourself in a very beautiful place whole, healthy and happy.
• Try reading scripts from a visualization or self-hypnosis book
• Listen to an audiovisualization tape. Remember many people use hearing as their main method of sensory perception for learning.
• Try making your own tape in your own voice.
Visualization does work to help boost your body back to health. Don't just work on the body, add the mind to maximize your healing process with visualization

Learn From Frustration

In every frustration there is a powerful message. Frustration tells you, in no uncertain terms, that something is not as good as it could possibly be. There's a reason for every frustration. And when you choose to be brutally honest with yourself, there's also a positive and potentially life-changing response..

The best response to frustration is not to fight it or resent it or let it break you down, but to learn from it. Perhaps frustration is attempting to convince you of the need to speak out against injustice, or pointing out changes that you know you must make in your own behavior..

Frustration may very well be telling you that what you're doing at the moment is not at all in line with your most deeply held values. Frustration may be your way of telling yourself that you need to more fully prepare for life's various challenges..

It could be that frustration is helping you to realize that there must be a more effective, more efficient, more compassionate, or more sensible way to do some particular thing. Many great achievements and advances start out as frustrations..

Feel the frustration and then listen very carefully... For that frustration is giving you some priceless advice!

Source: Ralph Marston

Loving Without Needing

Loving Without Needing 

 by Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D.

People tend to fall in love with someone who - on the surface - is their idea of, if not the ideal partner, at least close to what they are looking for in a partner - but who underneath the surface - fulfills some of their more important needs. This is a dangerous path to be on in a relationship, and more so, if you are not aware of it, as generally is the case. It's dangerous, simply stated, because as long as you depend on another to fulfill your needs, or some of your needs, you are not free. I'm not talking about being free of others in the sense of not wanting to be with others but in the sense of not needing them for your inner well-being, because you are able to create that for yourself. The benefit of such a life is that you love from a position of independence rather than from one of dependence.

• Think for a moment of the one you love (or loved at some other time of your life). What happened inside of you if that person was annoyed or moody? Did something in you shrivel, cringe, worry? Or did something in you desperately make you try to 'fix' whatever it was that was going on with your partner? Or did something in you immediately assume that the reason your partner was in a bad mood was because of something you had done? Clearly, in this example (and there are many other versions), your happiness and inner well-being are so wrapped up in your partner's state of being, that you are in a sense enslaved - even though your partner may have never asked you to be this way.
• Another example is when your sense of confidence and security is wrapped up in how much your partner is under your control. In a way, this example has the same common denominator as the earlier example, simply because at the root of it all, your happiness and inner well-being depends on how secure your partner makes you feel as long as you believe he/she is behaving in a way that you need them to behave so that you can feel that security and confidence. This means, of course, that you will always be checking up on him/her, calling frequently, trying to control who is in his/her life, what activities they participate in, etc. Once again, as in the earlier example, your happiness and inner well-being are so wrapped up in your partner's state of being, that you are in a sense enslaved - even though your partner may have never asked you to be this way.
• Yet another situation that occurs with frequency (and you may - initially - laugh when you read this), is how immensely good we feel and lovable we believe ourselves to be when we are with the beloved. You may ask me in astonishment what could possibly be wrong with such a scenario? It's this: if you feel this way whether you have a partner or not, then there is nothing wrong with it. Quite the contrary, in that case, I would shake your hand to congratulate you on a life well lived. However, when those good or being lovable feelings only emerge when you are with your partner and hold yourself firmly in the belief that he/she does indeed love you, but you tend to fall apart when something is amiss in the relationship (even if it's only a lifted eyebrow, or a dark mien, as in the first example here), then we have all the indicators that you are in this relationship because something in your partner fulfills needs for you that you are meant to have learned how to fulfill yourself. And that the most likely scenario that will ultimately occur for you, is that you will find yourself being abandoned in some fashion by the partner, suffer intense emotional pain, feel, perhaps, strong sensations of anger and a desire for revenge, feel victimized, etc., only to possibly repeat this pattern again with another partner or two ... until you wake up and realize that it is you who is meant to make you feel this way and not your partner. Just as in the earlier examples, your happiness and inner well-being are so wrapped up in your partner's state of being, that you are in a sense enslaved - even though your partner may have never asked you to be this way.

How can you find your way out of this miasma? Begin by becoming conscious of your need for another's behavior dictating your well-being. This is not about a partner who does not fulfill your expectations, or a partner who is not doing what you would wish them to do, but about an individual - you - who is not taking care of, in a loving way, of your own needs.

To begin this process it is necessary to become aware, self-responsible and self-loving. A brief summation of three fundamental concepts for a life of inner freedom, filled with inner well-being, peace, harmony, and joy follows:

Being Aware: Without awareness there is no self-reflection. Without self-reflection you are unable to comprehend what happens to you other than in knee-jerk fashion. Hence it is paramount that you begin to become aware of all you feel, think, say and do, as well as all your reactions to events and others in order that you may be able to exercise choice at all times. If someone insults you and you are not aware, you will react blindly and insult back. If you are aware, you may choose to ignore the person, or reply in another fashion that does not put your inner well-being at stake. By being aware you know yourself in ways someone who is not aware does not. Therefore when you are attracted to someone you will begin to pay very close attention to many factors, both within you and within the other. This alone will put you on a totally different path than someone who does not pay attention and simply falls in love.

Being Self-Responsible: Without taking on responsibility for the self in all ways: being responsible for what you think, feel, say, and do, and how you react to all that occurs in your life, you will never be truly free because you will continually place the responsibility (blame) for what occurs on someone or something, and likewise, you will place the responsibility for how you think and feel on others or on specific circumstances. Further, you will never truly find inner peace for all the same reasons. Therefore, when you take the conscious decision to become truly responsible for the self, you begin to live a life where it is indeed possible to love without needing.

Loving the Self: Without recognizing the fundamental and primordial need to love the self, and doing so consciously, step by step, by learning how to do so by taking on responsibility for the self and all that the self feels and thinks, as mentioned above, you will not find true joy, inner peace, and freedom, because you will not be taking true and loving care of yourself. When you feel out of sorts, angry, impatient, or anything other than being in a space of inner well-being, loving the self means that you will take care of that feeling and do something about it in order to shift your inner energy in order that you may at the very least find yourself in a space of inner balance and tranquility. In similar fashion, if you find that you are reacting to something - anything - in a way that is creating turmoil of any kind, loving the self again means that you will take loving care of the self in order to once again come - at the very least - to a place of inner balance. Loving the self is one of the behaviors that most people are lacking in and is, perhaps, the most important one of all to learn. By loving the self, the other two - being aware and self-responsible - fall into place, because it is impossible to love the self without becoming aware and self-responsible.

I wish you much joy on your journey - the greatest journey of all - the voyage into the self.

Dr. Kortsch holds a doctorate in psychology and dedicates herself to integral coaching, clinical hypnotherapy, relationship coaching, and energy techniques. She broadcasts a live weekly radio show in English that is available on the Internet. She can help you move towards greater personal and relationship success with her integral approach to life and offers training and workshops in the field of self-development and choosing responsibility for the self. Visit Advanced Personal Therapy.com, sign up for her newsletter in English or Spanish, or visit her blog for the latest articles.

The Goodbye

 The Goodbye

The hardest part about travel is not long flights or  managing finances.

The hardest part, the worst part, the thing I dread…is saying goodbye.

People asked me when are you going next? I know the answer – when finances permit. Gutted, but with the understanding that living in Australia is what I need to do from an economy,financial and employment perspective. The USA is not a viable option,not in these times of instability. My loved one is supportive,but I think that deep down,  will always wish that it was different. We have plans for my loved one to move to Australia,but that is a way off,there’s much to be done before that is an option.

But what people don’t tend to ask is how I feel about leaving again. There’s a general assumption that going back  to Australia is exciting, all sunshine and kangaroos, beaches and barbecues. Because it’s what I want, I must be looking forward to it.

All of this is true.

But.

Leaving my loved one is devastating.

For me, leaving is the worst part about travel.

Travel is not without its compromises, and the biggest one of all is that I’ll never be that loved one– the one you see every day. And sometimes, that kills me. Of course I want to be that person, but the reality is that I’m cant be in this moment in time. I can’t be there in all the good and bad times, when I’m most needed.

I can’t be that person right now. Wanting to live in Australia, however, does not necessarily mean that I don’t want to be there, with my loved one.

This time, leaving is harder than it’s ever been. I ‘ve been in the States for almost 7 weeks.

In the days leading up to my flight, I have not been excited. I’ve been sort of shocked by the speed at which time has passed, actually, and felt like I ‘ve been robbed of time by the departure date. I know I have to say goodbye to my loved one, again. I

What can you say to someone when you love them and don’t know when you’ll see them again?

My loved one will take me to the airport . On the way we’ll eat at a restaurant and for a little while, I ‘ll able to pretend like this wasn’t it, the Big Goodbye, but I know that it will be. You can’t forget something like that no matter how you try.

Our final hugs will painful and upsetting, but necessary. I’ll cry on and off on the plane to Australia,like I did last time, realizing that it’s going to be like this for a while longer. I’ll be leaving and having to keep saying goodbye.

 It isn’t easy, leaving little parts of your heart , wishing things could somehow be different. Wishing that  being so far away didn’t mean sacrificing time with your loved one.

The sadness will fade into the background, and the stimulation of daily life will come forward, but my soul will always yearn to return to the one I love.

“Do the best you can with what you have.” So that’s what we’ll do. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be as close as we can get it.

Capability (What Can You Do?)

What is capability? What can you do?  What is can?

                                                                        

You say, "I wish I could do that. But I can't." Sometimes the thing you desire seems most evasive and elusive to you. You may seem to think that you need money or something else that is external to you for you to be able to achieve your desire. And because this external thing is away from you and you don't have it, you think that you are doomed because even that seems elusive. So you are stuck in a vicious circle. You accept that, you fear it. But before you accept something that has absolutely no value to you, take another look. 

Fear is a thing we are conditioned to accept without question, yet it has absolutely no value. Next time you accept fear, ask yourself what value it really has for you. Escape is not a value. There is nowhere to run. Eventually, you will be found and you will have to face yourself. 

Running away from a problem is an idea that stems from the illusion that there is a you with a problem, and a you that can escape the you with the problem. Insane? Yep! The first step to getting out of a problem is knowing and accepting that you are the problem, and then you become the solution. Nothing outside changes, but as you change, a new outside replaces the old. The law of attraction and the law of cause and effect work this way.

For now, let us define capability. What is can?

Everyone has things that they can do now that they could not do before. You can now walk while as a child you could not. The ground never changed, but you did. You can now read while you once could not. The English language never changed, but you did.

At one time, Bill Gates could not write software, now he can. The world did not change, Bill did. At one time, Jesus could not perform miracles, then he did. Miracles did not change, Jesus did. At one time the Buddha was not enlightened, then he was. The ways of the universe did not change, the Buddha did.

Do you get the picture? There are a million things that a person can do now that they could not do years ago. Why?

It is never those things that changed. What changed was the idea that this person had of himself or herself. Have you seen the movie The Matrix? When Neo changed his idea of himself, he was able to do the undoable. It is so with everyone.

So what is can? What is capability? It is nothing more than a shift in what you think you are. What You Really Are is a being with infinite possibilities? Everyone is. We are all literally an idea. As such, success is not something we can chase and get, it is something that we attract by the persons we become. We become those persons by changing the idea of what we think we are.

The problem is not with the world. The problem, if there is one, is with your recognition of yourself and your world. The way you perceive and interpret yourself and your world is a system. Change that system, through seeking new truths, and you change your world.

To put it in another way, on earth you are a being that has experiences. These experiences are determined by your thoughts, which are determined by your perceptions. And these experiences are experienced through perception. It is a cycle. The key here is that perception is a learnt system. You learnt your own way of perception as you grew up. Whatever you accepted as true from your parents, friends, teachers, and so on, is what builds your framework of perception. Perception is a learnt system. You learn it, and you can just as easily unlearn it. You unlearn it by replacing it with a new system, and you get a new system by seeking new truths from books, guides, your higher self, and so on. The world that you perceive is perceived differently by the next guy. We are all seeing an illusion, an interpretation of energy activity that we are the creators of. The Real world is seen through vision, not perception. And vision only comes when you finally drop all your judgement of what you see, when you let it tell you what it is instead of you saying what it is. But that is another story all together.

You are in charge of 'can', and no one else. People can tell you that you can't, all day long, until they grow hoarse and lose their voices. It will have absolutely zero effect on you. Unless you accept it. What did you accept as a child? Do you like it? Then un-accept it. Change. Re-create yourself. Have a new idea of who you are!

There is a lot of help available nowadays that was never there before. We now have a deeper understanding of our universe and the way it works. Web sites such as www.imagesofone.com get us headed in the right way within a click of a mouse. Authors and speakers now grace our talk shows and bookstores giving us exactly what we need just at the right time. All that is left is for you to make the step.

About the Author

Article written by David Cameron, CEO ImagesOfOne.com, author of Raising Humans and A Happy Pocket Full of Money, and developer of the Prova LifeGoals Effortless Achiever+ and Prova LifeMap Numerology software. These and titles such as Think and Grow Rich, As A Man Thinketh, and more are available for download at

http://www.ImagesOfOne.com