Self Power, Would You Give It Up?

When one gives up their self power, one gives up their soul, gives up their identity. It is very easy to fall into to the trap of handing over ones autonomy, often it happens with such stealth it goes unnoticed. Once your self empowerment is in another’s hands it becomes a most dangerous weapon for the wrong person to wield.
Trust me I know.
It becomes a tool of control, to some extent brain washing as you become more and more reliant on the person who holds your true power prisoner. Even worse if the holder of your power has manipulative tendencies and acts without conscience. Eventually, such a high level of dependency occurs that you forget your identity, you believe whatever you are told, you become so concerned with pleasing others you forget the most important person in the equation: yourself.
Often you are forced into behavioural patterns that are not within your true nature, pushed to undertake things that do not resonate with the spirit within. There is a lack of clarity , no direction as you become more dependent on others, their vision becomes yours, their beliefs becomes yours as you gradually molded into someone who you can no longer recognize.
However, that being said, eventually there is an awakening, an inkling deep inside that perhaps the whole situation is not quite right. There are small clues and hints which become more visable over time as the awakening gradually increases. What causes this awakening? An event , circumstance, argument, the clear vision of a trusted confident, something which triggers deep within, a memory, a suspicion a rebellious thought regarding the person holding your self power. As time passes the suspicions grow, you become more astute, you watch and listen, actions speak louder then words.
You start having thoughts that not all is as it should be, that something feels out of kilter, that you are the one always giving with no reciprocation. These suspicions grow until you gather the inner strength to say no. Then watch and listen to the behaviour of the power taker, you will notice them grasping for control by attempting to exert their authority over you in one way or another, emotional black mail, manipulation and using your personal knowledge against you.
Once we have clear focus, once we can see the true nature of the relationship, we can begin to gather strength and energy to reclaim our self empowerment reclaim one of the most important aspects of ourselves.
It is not easy, not by a long shot, in fact it can be a very long, painful struggle, but ultimately the reward is priceless. The reward being freedom, wholeness, oneness, the power to be who you are and develop into what you have the potential to be.
Don’t ever give away your self power, trust me it is a very harsh lesson to learn.
© J Picken

Doors, A Lesson in Change

Everyone has experienced times when everything seems overwhelming, stressful and possibly without hope. The open doors close in your face, your belief system is sorely tested and self doubt creeps in. You sink deeper and deeper into despair, into the great abyss of emptiness and develop tunnel vision for the emotions that run riot within. Not knowing which way to turn or who to turn to, withdrawal looks the best option, the best because there is no longer trust. No longer trust in you, others or the universal energy that is God, Spirit or any other name one chooses to use.
True, perhaps the doors we know, the doors we are most familiar have closed, but we neglect to look for the new doors that are opening. Perhaps we are too busy trying to fight to keep the doors open that we know, they are familiar, safe and non threatening. It takes courage to move in a new direction, courage to accept that which we cannot change.
We some how have this grand illusion that change is not good, change is not for our highest good, but without change there is no growth. No growth of spirit, no growth of mind, body or emotion.
Each change provides new lessons in the school of life, some much more difficult then others, but relevant for our development and expansion of soul. All the changes and experiences we have faced or will ever face is a catalyst for who we are, who we will be.
It is not easy to let go, let go of what we love and know. Just because we love and know something that does not mean it is in our best interests to retain it, to stay on the roundabout, to keep moving in a continuous circle.
Great inner strength, faith and a helping hand provide the guidance we need in order to move out of the circle, move forward and take the path we have chosen. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and surprisingly enough, a hand is reaching out to help us up from the direction we least expect it, at a time we least expect it.
© J Picken

 

The Pain Within

Pain is an intense feeling, one that we try to hide from, try to avoid. Physical pain, in many instances is much easier to face then the pain experienced within. The face of pain changes, mingles with emotions and causes disillusionment, not only in others, but more importantly with oneself.
Many articles will state that in order to deal with the pain, one needs to face it. This is much easier said then done. After all, who really wishes to confront the cause of hurt, the wound which travels deep within? Some wounds run so deep that the original injury remains illusive.
Sometimes there are so many layers of protection we have unconsciously placed over the wound, so many that the wound festers and ultimately increases in size and with each increase in size we tend to add another layer, another band aid, another quick fix.
Yes we do need to heal the wound and in order to achieve ultimate healing, we need to gently take away one layer at a time at a speed which is most comfortable for ourselves. Yes, initially the pain may overwhelm us, it may consume us as each layer is carefully removed and we work closer to the source of our hurt.
Once we finally expose the source, the wound within we can confront the fear, the pain, the frustration and anger and all the other emotions that have festered there within the wound.
Acknowledging that the wound exists dispels denial and overcomes avoidance, to reach this stage signals no going back and the intent of finishing what we set out to achieve. To begin healing within, to truly commence the healing process, most of all we need to forgive ourselves. Forgive ourselves first, we tend to hold grudges against ourself, blame ourselves for allowing circumstances, events and situations to occur and even for being who we are or who we think we are.
To forgive does not mean that the circumstance, event or situation, which has caused our wound, was in any way justified, that the people/person involved was justified, it means we acknowledge that for our own sake that “yes it happened” and “yes I forgive myself” and “yes because I want to heal I also forgive those involved, not for their sakes but for my own.”
Once we can achieve true forgiveness, we can then begin to find love for ourselves, unconditional love. When we have unconditional love for ourselves, the healing process is well and truly underway, the pain will ease, the hurt and disillusionment will slowly dissipate and dissolve.
It is by no means an easy process, it certainly is not a painless one either, but one very necessary to our progress, to moving on, to remove limitations that we have placed on ourselves.

© 2008 J Picken